#Do they even have breath
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THEY’RE SMOOCHING
#murder drones#n x uzi#nuzi#THEY’RE KISSING#Do they even have breath#like I doubt none of them brushed their teeth before getting traumatised
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you're in the habit of denying yourself things.
if someone asked you directly, you would say that you love a little treat. you like iced coffee and getting the cookie. you drink juice out of a fancy cup sometimes, and often do use your candles until they gutter out helplessly.
but you hesitate about buying the 20 dollar hand mixer because, like. you could just use your arms. you weren't raised rich. you don't get to just spend the 20 dollars (remember when that could cover lunch?), at least - you don't spend that without agonizing over it first, trying to figure out the cost-benefits like you are defending yourself in front of a jury. yes, this rice cooker could seriously help you. but you do know how to make stovetop rice and it really isn't that hard. how many pies or brownies would you actually make, in order to make that hand mixer worthwhile?
what's wild is that if the money was for a friend, it would already be spent. you'd fork over 40 without blinking an eye, just to make them happy. the difference is that it's for you, so you need to justify it.
and it sneaks in. you ration yourself without meaning to - you don't finish the pint of ice cream, even though you want to. the next time you go to the store, you say ah, i really shouldn't, and then you walk away. you save little bits of your precious things - just in case. sometimes you even go so far as putting that one thing in your shopping cart. and then just leaving it there, because maybe-one-day, but not right now, there's other stuff going on.
you do self-care, of course. but you don't do it more than like, 3 days in a row. after that it just feels a little bit over-the-edge. like. you can't live in decadence, the economy is so bad right now, kid.
so you don't buy the rice cooker. you can-and-will spend the time over the stove. you can withstand the little sorrows. denial and discipline are practically synonyms. and you're not spoiled.
it's just - it's not always a rice cooker. sometimes it is a person or a job or a hug. sometimes it is asking for help. sometimes it is the summer and your college degree. sometimes it is looking down at scabbed knees and feeling a strange kind of falling, like you can't even recognize the girl you used to be. sometimes it is your handprint looking unsteady.
sometimes it is tuesday, and you didn't get fired, and you want to celebrate. but what is it you like, even? you search around your little heart and come up empty. you're so used to denying that all your desires draw a blank.
oh fuck. see, this is the perfect opportunity. if you had a mixer, you'd make a cake.
#warm up#this isn't good#writeblr#this is complicated by the fact i can't stand up too long or i fuckken pass out and <3 hit my damn head <3#but i did take a deep breath and buy myself the stupid rice cooker#and!!! a very cheap sushi kit!!! i have been wanting to try making sushi for literally YEARS#the kit was only like 15 dollars!!!! and i haven't purchased it bc?!!??!?!?!?!!?#..... i didn't get the mixer tho that felt. like a lot. like too much.#on my list is a kitchenaid. one day when i get a check and i have paid off my student debt#and medical debt#i will put that first little bit of cash#into a kitchenaid 5qt stand mixer (with attachments)#i really do just go into their refurbished section and stare lustily at each option#but yeah i feel guilty about the rice cooker even tho i know for a fact this damn thing is gonna be a lifesaver#oh shit also fuck i forgot to mention . poached eggs
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"Now, the vow will be honoured, and my Lord brother's soul will return."
Radahn stans keep winning, but I personally am in Miyazaki's walls rn
#my art#shadow of the erdtree spoilers#sote spoilers#shadow of the erdtree#elden ring#godwyn prince of death#godwyn the golden#miquella the kind#miquella the unalloyed#promised consort radahn#fromsoft#i do not think critiques of radahn are as shallow as “pay $40 to fight a boss we already fought”#the dlc is good right up until the final boss#most of the new bosses are good#i loved midra and metyr and messmer and the dancing lion#radahn as consort just comes completely out of left field and just seems like a huge disconnect between the dlc and base game#radahn's story was done with the festival#and it's a good end! i like the festival and the base game radhan fight#but here he shows up again out of nowhere when godwyn is the obvious choice and a godwyn boss fight would be new and interesting#you can even still have your villain miquella story#puppeting his brother's living-but-soulless corpse unable to accept#that just because godwyn is breathing and follows his command like a deprecated computer program#even godhood can't bring his brother's soul back#his body must be slain and he must die a true death#we could have at least gotten a line of dialogue from radahn but nope#ok rant over#this pic is sloppy but idc#no cleanup we die like men#yes i know miquella's model technically has only three arms but i gave him four bc three looks silly
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friend wanted to see my tumblr, and when i told him i can’t show it to him bc it’s basically my personal diary he went “oh so I can’t see it but a bunch of strangers on tumblr can??” he literally does not get me. no one will get me like the people in my phone get me
#It’s just so different#even though it’s public it still feels secret and safe. i feel comfy sharing a lot more on here than I do in my actual day to day life lol#in my head I’m also just speaking to myself 90% of the time which helps#if a friend off tumblr saw my thoughts I’d feel so weird ab it#esp bc they might get the vagueposting about certain situations and tell mutual friends#no thank u. this is for me. I’m not about to start censoring my thoughts bc someone I know knows my tumblr#u guys literally saw me have LIVE BREAKDOWNS#meanwhile I’ll have the worst fucking day in history and tell no one about it. I’m already cripplingly private but way more so in real life#this is basically a low stress journaling outlet for me. it’s so important for me to maintain the separation#like this is actually my diary & has been so handy for letting out emotions / articulating thoughts / staying on track !!#& I’ve met so many kind people on here who actually get me. which is so hard to find irl bc I’m surrounded by pre-med gunners/overachievers#who are by standard not very good w emotion & can be competitive/judgmental. or at least it’s hard for me to be vulnerable in front of them#and I’m part of that crowd so I reserve my emotions only to a handful of very close friends#it’s nice to hop on here and express negative emotions!! or positive emotions!! just whatever I want and it’s low stress and people get me#I don’t have to worry about judgment or competitiveness etc etc#like everyone on here is so kind & nice & understanding. & just a breath of fresh air from the types I run w. it’s just nice to have this#so idk that’s why I think I’ll always be strict about keeping the worlds separate. it just works#p
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he cares so much about them, but he has never known how to show it
and now, it’s too late.
#orion rambles#mephone was the character that got me attached to ii#seeing him this miserable makes me miserable#ive grown even more attached to him since the twist#i love making ocs....it can be really therapeutic to explore feelings through them#so to see a character do the exact same thing was wild#...but the contestants became these living breathing people#who now have to come to terms with the fact they were made to be a fantasy#dreamed up by someone who is lost. and broken. and scared#and now? he has nothing left#but he cared for them. he really truly cared for them. i would know#inanimate insanity#ii 17#ii movie#ii mephone4
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this is not me trying to defend nintendo's business practices or say that either of these games don't have flaws, but I think a lot of the comparisons people are making between breath of the wild and tears of the kingdom are a little unfair and don't really take into account that they are different games with different purposes.
"breath of the wild feels so empty compared to tears of the kingdom" ... yeah? with breath of the wild, one of the game's main themes was isolation. you wake up in the future far after the apocalypse you were trying to prevent has already settled. you have no memories, very little strength. just like hyrule, just like zelda, all you have is your will to continue. breath of the wild is the quiet moments, the secret spaces, the weight of the world that has continued to turn without you still resting on your shoulders.
tears of the kingdom is not like that. hyrule is no longer the wild. it is no longer quiet and lonely. there's community. every sidequest is intertwined. your friends fight alongside you. this isn't "fixing" breath of the wild, this is it's natural continuation. as time goes on the world continues to heal and rebuild. if breath of the wild was clawing hope, tears of the kingdom is direct action.
like yeah there are things tears is doing better and (imo) things breath of the wild did better. but i don't think either one is a replacement for the other.
#tloz#breath of the wild#botw#totk#tears of the kingdom#inspired by two posts#one saying tears should have been botw dlc#which i think must have come from someone who hasn't played tears (which is fine)#and the other saying botw shouldn't have existed and they should have just released totk#which i also don't think would be ideal#personally botw is still my favorite game#its really beautiful and emotional#i do understand and agree with a lot of the criticism against it#but i am fond of the slower‚ quieter pace it has#ive never played anything else quite like it#even totk
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I feel bad for neglecting Hazel so much, I do have many thoughts about her.. and also a mermaid au that im probably not going to do anything with
#fop#fairly oddparents#fop a new wish#fairly oddparents a new wish#hazel wells#fop hazel#fop dev#dev dimmadome#art#digital art#doodles#I wish Hazels parents were more flawed tbh...#Like I get why they wanted to have them be good rep so that young people could know what a good family is supposed to look like#but it felt like every time there was an opportunity to have them do something genuinely flawed-#they would perfectly sidestep it before it even became a problem#I really enjoyed the first episode because it showed a hint of a very unique emotional issue Hazel had related to having a therapist mother#The idea that she has to be mature all the time#constantly living around therapy speak makes her feel like she isnt allowed room to breathe#Feeling unable to express her emotions without someone there giving advice that she isnt ready for yet#just small things!#She feels so pressured to be emotionally mature all the time BECAUSE she gets praised for it#maybe im projecting everyone always tell me I was so mature for my age...#But like I really really wanted to see that from her!!#And then after that episode it doesnt even come up again#The only other episode that features the moms job as a conflict is the one where she wants to spend more time with her#which is a fine conflict I guess but it still ends with her saying all the perfect things#I wanted Markus to be more of a genuine threat too. even if he didnt actually do anything having him be more looming would have been nice#I feel like they mostly forget hes a para scientist most of the time idk.#I just felt like his interactions could have been more unique#Maybe he will be in future seasons idk
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do the silly thing. if you do not do the silly thing time will pass and it will not be the same silly thing it could have been. it will still be silly, and it will still be yours, but it will not be the same. this is both a blessing and a curse, but so is living; and if you do not do it now when will you? who will? it has to be you, it was always meant for you, waiting for you.
#this is about writing for me but could be about anything (that is not hurtful to urself or others. very important)#that's why it is silly (affectionate) or cringey (affectionate) like u gotta just let yourself go sometimes. you have to do the thing.#even if it is terrible horrible (not what you want) bc at least then it EXISTS. at least it holds space in the universe and it lives outsid#you can let it sit and rot and gather dust but at least then you can go back to it. even if it's horrible there is at LEAST at least -#one kernel of it that you can bring into the next piece. at least one shining pearl of something.#even if it needs work or months in those lil funky rock tumblers for geodes and gemstones and all. even if needs SO much work.#at least it is there!!! and it is yours!!!#it's your call to action if it's something u want w/ all your heart.#or even a piece of it. if it's something you want? well - it's already yours. it always has been.#you just have to take the first step / the first breath / and begin.#scribbles.
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ITS NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE
GUYS HES NOT JUST JUMPING TO SAVE HER FROM FALLING
GUYS THE MALICE WAS AFTER HER
HE ISN’T TURNING TO RUN HE’S TURNING TO SAVE HER
TO BE WITH HER
AFTER SHE WAS ALONE FOR 100 YEARS
AFTER SHE LOST EVERYONE SHE EVER CARED FOR
HES NOT LETTING THAT HAPPEN AGAIN
EVEN IF IT MEANS THEY BOTH SUFFER
HE’S DAMN SURE THEY’RE GOING TO DO IT TOGETHER
#Zelda#Link#Ganon#Loz#Totk#Tears of the Kingdom#Zelink#Love#With every trailer I want to hate this game even more#With every trailer I love this game even more#LOOK AT HOW THEY MASSACRED MY BOY#WHY DO YOU HAVE TO HIT ME IN THE FEELS NINTENDO#THIS ISN'T FAIR#THEY'VE GONE THROUGH TOO MUCH TRAUMA#Botw#Breath of the Wild#Botw2#Zelink Triforce Hylia Hyrule
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I'm bad at math, but is Bruce theoretically 38 years old when he goes into the time stream?
Hear me out (and canon likes to fluncate their ages, so this is my best guess without trying to account for birthdays):
Bruce becomes the legal guardian of 9 year old Dick when he's 23. That's a 14 year difference.
Jason becomes Robin when Dick leaves at 18. Jason is 13. That's a five year difference.
Jason dies at 15, and Tim becomes Robin at 13. That's a two year difference.
The age difference between Tim and Bruce would thus be 21 years.
Tim becomes Red Robin to find Bruce at 17.
That means that Bruce had to be 38, right? Why was I imagining him closer to 50?
Adopting so many kids must have aged him
#tim was 2-3 when he watched the graysons fall#jason would have been 17 when he attacked to at titan tower#this would make dick 24 when his dad dies and he has to take up the batman mantle he never wanted#UtRH is more tragic if you think about how jason wasnt even an adult#i do love the parallels of 23 year old bruce being a father to 9 year old dick and 24 year old dick being a father to 10 year old damian#also it's definitely the continued exposure to crime and violence that gave bruce his stress lines and grey hair (or jason dying)#this is all theoretical anyways because DC writes its own rules for how to math ages#dc universe#dc comics#bruce wayne#tim drake#jason todd#dick grayson#the consequences of dc being vague on their ages is that means the characters speedrun all their trauma and can't breath through it#they are all so young
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Hey, could you draw the Bewilderbeast?
“Blimey that thing’s huge,”
I always feel weird drawing flat faced animals. How the fuck does this thing breathe (Looking at you pugs)
#They breathe through sheer fucking willpower#seriously have you SEEN a pug skull?#Google it#it’s making my nasal cavity hurt just looking at it#in fact#that shit don’t even look like it has a nasal cavity#i’m scared#how do they breathe#httyd#how to train your dragon#hiccup haddock#how to train your dragon 2#httyd2#httyd 2#bewilderbeast#bewilderbeast httyd#httyd bewilderbeast#art#httyd art#my artwork#artist#my art#digital art#artwork#hiccup#toothless
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i keep thinking about hobbies and how i often spill over myself to pick up new ones. i have adhd, i end up trying something for like a month and then just getting far enough in it that i move on, satisfied.
and that should be fine; but it's never fine.
i am a pretty decent artist; but i can't just make art for my dnd campaign, i should be selling dnd maps and character designs and scene setting pieces. i can't just make my friends matching earrings, i need to get an etsy and ship them internationally and take bulk orders. i make pretty good props and decorations and use them to throw my friends parties - but i should be running a party planning business and start taking paying clients and networking and putting my skills to actual use.
for some reason, i never figured out the specifics of pottery. it was a fun class and i enjoyed myself - and still, i'm embarrassed, years later, that i put in all that useless effort. everything i make has to be stunning. stellar. i should have applied myself more. maybe i'm too lazy. maybe i'm broken and selfish and needy. actually creative people would have kept going; they would be bettering themselves at every possible opportunity.
we find ourselves in this trap, even accidentally: we need to commodify our time, because it is a commodity. if we spend our efforts and our time not earning, isn't that the same thing as burning free money? and god forbid you ever take up a hobby that ends up being more expensive than you thought. you sit in your car and you look at the receipt and in your head you hear a conversation that isn't even happening - your mom or your friend or your partner all saying oh great. not this shit again. it's always something with you, and it never actually means anything.
i have realized this horrible thing, recently - i'll get excited to start a project, pick up a new hobby. and then i just... stop myself. i start thinking about the amount of time it will take, and how it'll look in my monthly budget. what if i can't even produce a good enough final product. sure, it's exciting to think about how i could make my friend her own custom dice. but i'm just polluting the earth if i don't get it right. better not bother. better not try.
restless, i get caught in the negative space. the feeling that oh god, i want to create. and that horrible sense - yeah, but i don't have the time to just put to waste.
#hobbies#writeblr#what stage of weirdness to write about hobbies on my hobby writing blog#although i know OBJECTIVELY i am a creative person#i often forget to label myself that bc i don't feel im an ARTISTIC person bc i don't do anything like that professionally#writing doesn't even feel like a hobby i think that surprises nobody for me to be like#it would be easier for me to stop . like. breathing.#which feels cheesy and trite but listen im running late for a meeting and all i really want to say is like#i couldn't even consider writing my hobby bc it makes my skin crawl bc it makes it sound like it's not important to me#bc we really devalue hobbies. like entirely.#it HAS to be a job. it must#also idk if this is clear but i personally get stuck in this space where i CANT create bc i am putting so much pressure on myself#to make it RIGHT#and im like ... idk i only have an hour#so probably shouldnt get involved in this thing
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If I think about the double standard and the disparity with which the media handled Daniel in comparison to everyone else I may lose my mind.
#i genuinely feel like im in bizarro world. karun chandok the fucking donkey being like:#“you have to feel for checo . he was doing so well in sq1 :( ”#in comparison to the way they viciously circled around daniel for medicore performances let alone bad ones#similar with Naomi just now. i cant believe im gonna defend Perez in the same breath but for her to say;#“Lawson has done everything to deserve checos seat. he has ticked all the boxes” ????? bitch what boxea are you talking about?#she literally said the only thing he needs to work on is his “temperament” would love to know what shes on lol#DONT EVEN GET ME STARTED ON LAZENBY HES SUCH A DUMB FUCKING RATTTTTTT#the way hes like “why is Lawson getting so much heat for complaining about sergio? Yuki has been doing it for years!”#well yuki has been in the 'Junior team' for 4 years now#what the everloving fuck is going on in the sport#obviously we all know how the media shapes the narrative but its genuinely still so jarring to see the standard they held daniel to#and the callousness with which they treated him
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Drew some Tulins, ToTk been p fun so far.
#tulin#totk tulin#tears of the kingdom#totk#botw#breath of the wild#loz#legend of zelda#tagging both games since i cant pull a fire emblem and tag it hyrule like i do for tellius as a catch all tag#rito#loz rito#my art#i will say my brain is wantng to replay botw now because i have been reminded how much i like revali#even though hes not even in this one help
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Vanha Kauppahalli date: en full, a 2 minute 50 second masterpiece...
Primetime Panthers | 11.6.24 (x)
#aleksander barkov#matthew tkachuk#florida panthers#2425#the global series is a gift#“alright talk to me what do we got?” with the camera following behind them makes it seems like theyre spies doing reconnaissance#the start to a thriller where they got sent to finland stake out for intelligence#maffhew not even waiting for sasha to answer before hes asks about chocolate#“the purple one you always bring” maffhew has been charmed by sashas leaving choco in stalls as gifts when he comes back from finland huh#you can tell he says that with depravity of a man who finally realises he doesnt need to rely on his supplier he can get it himself now#“uh oh [laughs] okay... what is this?” maffhew was not prepared for all the food to already be ready for him he just hopped off a plane and#expected to have to wait more and did not and absolutely does not trust the situation in the same way you get romantic candlelit-dinnered#and youre like alright whats all this then whats your angle what are you doing#“this is salmon and rye bread 😄” “(with the eagerness to prove hes smart and engaged) so is that 👉” “(charmed) and so is that 🫱”#“ill try your favourite first” GURL RELAX OKAY SETTLE DOWN YOURE IN A NEW COUNTRY JUST CHILL MAN#“salmon and rye bread—thats the famous one 🤓” [sasha nodding along because he has to reassure maffhew but also hes in the middle of eating]#maffhew choosing the most inopportune time and you can TELL sasha is like [swallows quickly] because he wants to answer but also BIG BITE#“herring” “herrin' 🤠?” “eating all this her-RING” no notes#“is this just another salmon on rye bread” he says with hope because he likes salmon but also disappointment (he wants to try more foods)#“different salmon? smoked?” the amount of questions hes askijg because hes so terribly engaged he wants to know and sashas like [shrug]#he has to get an A+ in experiencing finland which is normal to want and possible to achieve#“i still love your country though” and sasha explodes into the mirthful grin ive seen in my life like he just won the damn jackpot#he speaks at 100 mph like please take a deep breath sweetheart youre excitement is papable but PLEASE#THE WAY HE GETS SO UNSURE WHEN HE MENTIONS BARKY HATES THAT FOOD WHEN HE LIKED IT SO MUCH#MAFFHEW YOU CAN GET A PASSING GRADE IN EXPERIENCING FINLAND IF YOU STICK TO YOUR GUNS I PROMISE#SASHA HELP A GUY OUT HERE MAN THROW HIM A BONE#SASHA ONLY LAUGHS AS MAFFHEW THROWS HIMSELF INTO A TIZZY OVER THIS YOU ARE SOOOOOO#the chuckle when sasha mentions he had runebergin torttu in school... id like to know what was funny there#we call out sasha for being too lovesick and laughing at all of maffhews “jokes” BUT HES JUST AS BAD???#“what the hell do i do with this thing?” MAFFHEW HAVE YOU NEVER SEEN MERENGUE IN YOUR LIFE???
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stop thinking so hard about it dude ur gnna get a headache
#breath of the wild#loz#tloz#link#zelda#in general i dont think of botws story so much as others but i also have this idea in my head of link regaining his memories but never#never quite being able to remember her face or even who exactly she was to him . like he sees how they interact in his memory but#he cant remember his own feelings. and maybe he remembers at the end when he sees her but maybe its more complicated than that#like in botw you can make the most of a wartorn world and have all kind of adventures and sidequests and build a home and a town and meet#new people and you cant do all of that on top of the 100 year sleep without coming out of it a different person.#which isnt bad. but i just imagine some things could get harder and harder to remember#' i dont think of botw's story as much as others ' maybe i do actually#meat art
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